Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
