I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There's always time for handjobs
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
