I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize