**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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