Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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