How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
