walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
