3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
