He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
