I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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