She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
