I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
