I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize