Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
