yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Fuck appropriateness.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
