Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
