I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
