Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
