I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
