I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
