I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I met the friendliest cop last night
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
