As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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