Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
