I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
