she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
