So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
