I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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