I heard we made out
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
