I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize