Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize