If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
time to smoke my breakfast
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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