hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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