i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
