he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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