I could make wine with my vomit
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She's the barista slut.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Randomize
