Need sex. Gaining weight.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
