Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
