Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
