those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We talked him into tasing himself.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize