Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize