apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
