That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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