whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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