uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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