You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
