I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
