You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
