Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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