Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
