dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize