You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
