What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Randomize
