She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize