loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
