there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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