hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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