Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize