don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
