if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he was CRYING into my vagina
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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