yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
40s are totally the cure
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
