she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize