dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
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