He kissed a someone with a penis
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
