...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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