Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
try to milk me bitch
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