May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize