just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
