Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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