just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize