I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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