..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just puked most of my soul out..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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