He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
