If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
