Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize