Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
